Mother's Perspective: Internet Predators
By Denise Solis
Advice Columnist
March 2006

My subject this time is about “Internet Predators”. The reason I chose this topic is simple. I was watching Dateline NBC the other night and they happened to be doing a report on it. I was shocked to see that in the space of only a few hours they arrested several men who thought they were having a sexual encounter with an underage boy or girl.

After seeing that I decided to do some research on my own and here is what I found. On most of the “hip” websites that kids hang out at, like myspace.com and such, there are pictures of young girls flaunting themselves to whoever wishes to see. My first question of course would be, “Where are their parents?” Apparently these kids have free reign over their internet space and what they choose to do on it. Kids are kids, after all and they do not know the dangers of what they are doing unless someone (like the parents) explains it to them.

So here we go… First, my dear young people keep in mind that the person who you might be speaking to in a chat room is not always who you think they are. Just like there are weird people in parking garages or at the mall, they are also lurking around the corner of your laptop. Yes, boys and girls, the boogeyman can just as easily be talking up a storm in your chat room. Just like when someone might be staring at you in the record store and making the tiny hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You know something is not right, so you move away or leave the store. The same goes for cyberspace. You need to watch out for guys who talk with a sexual agenda in mind or ask to meet you. Chances are good they are not what they seem.

Try asking some important questions if you think this is actually someone your age. Talk about school and ask where they go? If they say they go to yours, then dig deeper. Make jokes about certain teachers or a buzz word at school and see if they catch on or don’t have a clue. You kids are not stupid! You know when someone is trying to scam you and at that point you need to trust your gut and get your parents involved. After all, you certainly do not want to be home alone one night babysitting for your younger brother or sister and have some pervert come knocking on your door, do you?

These types of things happen everyday and if you just be a bit cautious, you will not become another missing child statistic. It might sound real cool at first to think about meeting up with a dangerous stranger, but believe me, it is not! As the saying goes, if the wolf is at your door and you invite him in, expect to be eaten.

Now I can even understand the idea of putting cute pictures of yourself up on the internet to attract boys. But the key word here is boys, not men. Most 13-16 year olds I know do not really have any great desire to date 40 year old married, balding men. So beware of who you are talking to and giving information to over the internet. These guys can easily check out your email profile to find out where you live!

I actually have a user ID for myspace and occasionally I go on there to see what is going on with young people. But when I do it, it is harmless. Maybe if more parents looked into these websites on their own they would realize the kind of danger their kids could be in. It is just like being in school and hanging out with the “cool clique”. You might think that is where you are in cyberspace but you really have no idea who or what kind of monster might be on the other side of that username.

Again, I guess I have to go back to the parents on this one. They are ultimately in control (or should be) of the what, when and where their kids go and who they talk to for the most part. But if you are not involved in who they are talking to online then you are just as much at fault as if you drop your kids off on some scummy street corner and leave them to go at it for themselves. They do not understand what to look for unless you help them. You need to take the responsibility of who your kids are chatting with and in what chat rooms they are hanging out. If you don’t check their emails once in a while you will never know. And then it could be too late. Yes I understand that checking your child’s computer email is somewhat of an invasion of their privacy. But look at it this way; if you suspected your son or daughter were doing drugs would you not look through their room or into their drawers? Then why not look into their computer and see exactly what and who they are spending their time with. Most kids have nothing to hide. But you might be surprised at what you find and could prevent.

In closing, I would recommend that every parent of a teen find that Dateline show and watch it at some point. It scared me and I don’t even have young kids. I am sure it will make an impression on you. Until next time, here’s watching you in cyberspace.